Today I am............

Grateful ~  for the little things. The birds in the trees outside my windows. The sun that is warm on my back as I hang the washing. The bin man who just collected my rubbish.  The postman who delivered my longed for parcel. The clean tank water I am drinking.

Enjoying ~  the very clean and tidy house I have. Monday's are usually tidy up/clean the house day after the weekend. However, we had real estate people coming on Saturday so we tidied and cleaned Saturday morning. Miraculously it is still tidy and clean.

Proud ~  of my nearly 14 yr old son who completed the 40 hr famine this weekend. No food for 40 hrs. He was so good. Hardly had any of the allowed juice or barley sugars. Didn't complain at all even when the rest of us had mixed berry smoothie's Saturday afternoon when he was starving.

Longing ~   for Sunday. I'll tell you why later. Right now it seems so long away.

Listening  ~  to Brandi Carlile.  Love her voice. Love her music.

Wondering  ~  what to make for dinner. Something with chicken I think. Maybe a stirfry. Or chicken pie?? 

Reading ~  this and loving it. Inspirational, educational, and encouraging. Think I might go make a cuppa and read some more.

Hope your week is inspirational and wonderful.

Teaching Mum.

Ever since my kids were very young we have enjoyed being creative together.

Over the years we have

played playdough, painted, re-arranged furniture,

made collages, arranged flowers in a vase, organised our nature table,

coloured in, drawn pictures, decorated school books,

made cards, scrapbooked, built lego,

taken photos, baked and cooked.

Here are some photos of when the kids were younger enjoying creative play.

                                                     

 As I reflected over this list (and enjoyed the photos) I realised that

many activities required me to give instructions, ideas and guidance,

however there were other occassions where it was the kids giving me the instructions or ideas. 

I love that.

Sharing our ideas with one another and
creating together.

Last week at school Timmy had been making flowers out of tissue paper.

 I had seen what he had made at school and I asked him how he made it. 

He suggested he teach me at home.

I had a little chuckle to myself at that.

He was quite serious.

So yesterday after dinner all four kids and I (Dad was out) gathered around the kitchen table

to 'learn' how to make the tissue paper flowers. 

We had the supplies ready and Timmy began to show us the steps involved. 

I am not sure who was happiest.
Timmy as he shared his project?

 Or me, being taught by my 8 year old son

and enjoying the interaction with him and his older siblings
as they give their time to watch and learn from their young brother.

My hope,

as time ticks on and my children grow,

is that we can continue to embrace creativity
and have space to share it with others.

                                                                 

Let your heart soar.

Things have been a bit quiet in the studio the last few months.

Chicken pox times 4, fractured bones times 2,
colds, chest infections and an asthma diagnosis
 all added to an already busy life.



Timmy recovering after sedation and plastering.



Sarah's fractured collar bone.



Amongst this chaos and busyness I was having a melt down.

I was burnt out.

I kept a brave face.

I kept plodding along.

I tried to keep doing all the things I was commited to.

Then one night I just knew I couldn't go on.

I couldn't keep that brave face anymore.

I couldn't keep plodding along anymore.

I couldn't keep doing all those things I was commited too.

I was going through my diary, adding things here and there.

Filling up days at a speed I had never seen before.

That is when the anxiety set in.

I began to panic.

How could I do all this?

I was empty and spent.

I had nothing left.

I cried.

I spent the next week wandering around in a daze.

So tired and lost.

I spent days sitting and thinking and just being.

I read and sat some more.
I made decisions that were hard yet necessary.

Through these days of wondering and questioning and trying to 'see' again

 I realised I hadn't been in the studio for a while.

The busyness and fullness of life had taken me away.

I decided I would go and make a start.

Maybe I could just paint a background in my art journal.

I took one look at my studio table and gasped.

Where was it?

Two months of dumping stuff on top of more stuff had made my studio very unfit for creating.

So I ignored the studio for a few days after that.

 I was too tired and overwhelmed to tackle that project.

My soul however wasn't ready to give up.
It kept calling and reminding me it had things to release.

My soul wanted to play and experiment and share.

My soul was crying out for me to create something.

Anything.

Eventually I listened.

I devoted some time to tidying up.
Putting stuff away and making my space ready again.

My soul was thankful.
My soul was grateful.
My soul was getting excited.

The process of preparing my creative space was therapy in itself.

It was good to create again.

It was good to put paint to paper.

It was good to write some thoughts and words in my art journal.

I had missed this.

My soul had missed this.



The first layer of a new art journal page.

 

It has been a few weeks since I first began to melt down and unravel.

Am I better?

Heck no.

Am I less tired?

Not at all.

Is the anxiety gone?
Not completely.

But my soul feels a little fresher.

My heart is seeing hope again.

My world is still busy and chaotic.
It is difficult to allow myself the time to just create and play.

However, I am finding little bits of time here and there to

express my soul creatively.

I am trying to give myself permission to play in the studio again.

I am slowly allowing my heart to soar again.

And I like that.

Today I am....

Sitting ~  in my special sacred space. I have my basket filled with art supplies that can go with me out into the garden. I sit and sketch, maybe add some colour, my mind wanders, I allow peace in.

Reflecting ~  on the weekend that has just been.  The listening of stories about the camp my 12 yr old son has just been at, the considered thoughts of my 8 yr old regarding his lego game, the delightful art ideas my 10 yr old daughter is exploring, the discussions with my 13 yr old son about what is going on in the world, the simplicity of making kites and attempts to use them,  the yummy meal we shared around the fireplace and of course the visit to the local shop where some of my creative spoils are for sale.

Anticipating ~  the weekend to come where we will meet our beautiful new family member. A precious baby who is loved and wanted and will be fussed over and cuddled and spoilt with love. It will be a special day for us all. All the cousins together, the siblings together, the mother and her 3 children and their chidlren together.

Enjoying ~  the aroma of pea and ham soup. One of my favourites. So glad to have some left over.

Planning ~  the weeks menu. Mustard chicken, beef casserole, chicken soup, yum.

Tired ~ after staying up very late to watch the Tour de France. The aerial shots of Paris were just spectacular and I just couldn't bring myself to go to bed (even though we recorded it so we could watch at a more respectable time of day).

Grateful ~ the flowers that keep popping up in the garden even though it is winter here. Just little bursts of colour here and there to brighten the day.

Knowing ~ that even though my heart is fragile, my soul is tired, my body and mind are burnt out there are positives. The dramas, busyness, disappointments and changes that I face daily can be endured with a cuddle from my husband or anyone of my children.  A cuddle, a smile and/or a kind word really do make a difference.


Making and flying kites.



A rose blossom.

 

Art with mother and daughter.

Loving the Tour de France.



The delights of change.

'We delight in the beauty of the butterfly,
but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty" ~  Maya Angelou.

Change is a part of life.

A part of living in this beautiful yet broken world.

Change is unavoidable.

Change is wonderful and horrible.

Change can grow us or destroy us.

Change brings beauty as long as we allow it too.

I enjoy change,

 however usually only when I can control it.

When it comes sneaking up behind me and jumps out and says boo

I am not so willing to accept it.

When it comes from way down the road and I have time and opportunity to try and avoid it I am still

 a little wary of it.

There are times when I willingly accept it.

Sometimes change approaches me and I am relieved.

At last I say.

What took you so long?

Changes are a part of my world and a part of human life.

We can buck and avoid and kick and scream as much as we want but change will come.

Change will transform.

What it transforms and how is up to us.

The past few months have been somewhat challenging in our little world.

Changes have been on the horizon

 and we have had to accept them.

 Some of the changes have been unexpected

and we had to accept them just the same.

Looking back over these months

I can see how these changes came about, evolved and enveloped into our daily life. 

During some moments
these changes were not pleasant or inviting.
They were not something we celebrated,
however, they have brought beauty which is welcoming.

As the changes continue to knit their way into our life
the beauty follows.

One particular change came unexpectedly 

and yet it brought so much peace that I was, and still am, overwhelmed.

It involved a decision I had to make.

A decision to put aside a dream for a season.

It was a change that I initiated.

A change I welcomed.

A change that is already bringing beauty and life into our world.

As I delight in the beauty of my life

 I am also endeavouring to delight in the changes that bring this beauty. 

Your Living Canvas

I love stories.

I love to hear them and I love to tell them.

My story is my life.

The ups, the downs, the sideways, the every-which ways.

Our stories are who we are.

What we love.

What we care about.

What matters most to us.

................

I have joined another on-line class called Your Living Canvas. 

This class by Christy Tomlinson and Art McCracken is all about how we each have a story to tell and a canvas to create.

Our living canvas.

It involves soul searching exercises and journaling to help

tell my story,

find balance in the everyday and 

 be present.

It involves art, techniques and story telling.

If this class sounds interesting or inspiring to you

go to

Christy Tomlinson's blog to find out more details.

I can't wait to learn more about my story and how I can create my living canvas.

Today I am......

Recovering:   from a week of migraines. In fact it is more like a month. I have suffered from migraines since I was a teenager. And most of the time I manage them with pain relief and sleep. But this year has seen these migraines intensify and become more frequent. Pain relief and sleep are not working quite like they use too. Maybe a trip to the Dr is what I might add to my list this week.

Overwhelmed:   with life. Specifically uni assignment deadlines, housework, sick kids, jobs to do, etc, etc. And it doesn't help that I am not giving myself any space to rest and rejuvenate each day. More is being taken and none is being put back in.

Loving:   my little nook outside that my wonderful husband created for me. I had an idea and he put it into action. It is a space outside that is private but allows me to look out into my garden. I can see lots of contemplating, reading and sketching happening in this space.

Inspired:   by the wonderful women I am connecting with through my art classes. Such encouraging, wise, beautiful and creative women. I feel so blessed.

Excited:   about the trip we are planning to Tasmania. It has been a dream of mine to go there and now in just a few months we will be there. So much to see and do and discover. We have bought maps and are beginning to map out our travels. Sarah discovered an island called Sarah Island and is so excited that we can go there as part of our Gordon River cruise. All the kids are excited that we get to fly again. And so am I.

Enjoying:   the blue sky, the cool breeze and warm sun. I love this time of year in my little part of the world.

The art of wild abandonment bloghop.

Hello.

Welcome to my first bloghop.

If you are following The Art of Wild Abandonment Bloghop you should have come from Michelle Daigle  over at The Paper Dog 

If you just came across my blog randomly, welcome and feel free to come along on the bloghop. 

At the end of this post I will link you to the next blog in the hop.

...............................................................

I love on-line classes.

I love being able to learn new techniques and skills. 

I love being inspired and challenged.

I love dicovering new ways of using supplies.

But....

 there is something I love even more than all that.

What I love most about on-line classes are the AMAZING people.

The teachers and the students from all over the world.

Some are close by and some are far away,

but what we have in common brings us close and that is special.

 One of the most recent on-line classes I enrolled in is called The Art of Wild Abandonment
by Junelle Jacobson.

The title of this class intrigued me.  It sounded so fun and free.

 I was ready to be wild.

 I wanted to get even more messy.

 I wanted to abandon old ways, be free and begin something new.

What I didn't know, was that I would also be introduced to an amazing woman who would inspire me in ways I didn't even realise I wanted to be.

I am not ready to share the specifics of this just yet but I am ready to say that I am grateful for discovering Junelle Jacobson
This woman is inspiring.

This woman is encouraging.

This woman is cute.

Junelle has a beautiful, gentle and fun teaching style.
She also has a beautiful way of expressing her heart and soul.
 It is refreshing and real.
She shares herself and has inspired me to share myself in my art.

Here are a few samples from my art journal. Not all are complete but they came from my heart.

I am so looking forward to playing more, listening to what my heart is saying

and

putting myself into my art.

It will be so much fun to fill my art journal with messages from my heart.
Messages of truth and love.

Thank you Junelle for teachng the Art of Wild Abandonment and inspiring me to hear my heart's voice.

...........................................

Ok now it is time for you to go on over to the next  blog  in the bloghop.

If you wish to go back to the beginning of the bloghop go here.

Have a great day wherever you are.

Learning to sketch.

My husband says I live down in the back of my head.  In other words I am always thinking, contemplating, considering, wondering, planning, stressing, etc.  My husband says I am not always present to the moment because I am down in the back of my head.

Please don't misjudge my husband. He doesn't say these things to be critical. On the contrary he says them to help me after I have just poured out my heart to him. When I am stressed and anxious and so overwhelmed I could crumble.  My husband gently offers encouragement and a possible explanation for my feelings.

Over the past 18 months I have been exploring ways I can become more present. I am not wanting to completely stop living down in the back of my head. 

I do a lot of good work down there.

 No, I just want to balance it.

 I want to be able to see and feel and touch and smell and taste and be totally present to what there is to learn and experience whilst being present.

One of the practices I have begun to love is sketching.

In fact I can't believe how relaxing it is.

What surprises me the most is that I would not consider myself a person who can draw. My repertoire until recently consisted of stick people, houses with a square and triangle, and maybe a basic flower.

Because my skills in drawing were so limited I decided I wanted to learn some techniques that would help as well as learn a bit about the type of pencils and paper to use.

After some investigating I came across an artist by the name of Alisa Burke. She shares her sketch book regularly on her blog and offers a wide selection of on-line classes. I signed up for sketch book delight part-1. and sketch book delight part-2.  I am still working on this one now.
Lots of wonderful tips and info.

Below are a few sketches I have been working on. They are all pretty rough. Certainly no masterpieces here, however that was never the goal.

Sketching with charcoal.



Added watercolour to this sketch.



Sketching for me has become something that has turned an agitated, anxious, overwhelmed spirit into a calm, peaceful relaxed soul.

 I look forward to developing this new practice and seeing what develops and where it goes.

Happy Place

This 12 x 12 canvas represents a happy place in my imagination.

What does your happy place look like?