However, some of these positive characteristics make getting ready for school a real hassle. He gets 'distracted' (his word for it). I say to him "go and get dressed for school". I then check on him 10 minutes later and he still has his pjamas on and he is playing with something or looking at something or working out how something works. His inquisitive mind really is a huge distration for him.
Anyway today I snapped BIG time.
I yelled, I ranted, I raved.
I was awful.
I was impatient.
I shamed him.
It hurt us both.
We talked about it.
We hugged and kissed.
I said sorry.
I told him how much I love him.
I told him I was wrong.
I told him I understand how hard it can be.
We talked and continued to cuddle.
I took him to school.
I came home and I felt yuck.
Fortunately Steve was home and so I debriefed a bit. He let me talk it through.
It is hard to be a parent. To teach them and mould them. I find the whole situation with Timmy difficult because as adults we are often trying to slow down, live more in the present moment, 'stop and smell the roses' stuff. My son is doing that. He is noticing the world around him. He is living in the present moment. He is doing it very well in fact. And I don't want to squash it.
However sometimes you have to stop noticing and do what needs to be done. Oh the balance is so fine and delicate. Teaching that balance to a seven yr old is HARD. We have to teach it and he has to learn it but how. I guess the answer is example. Living it ourselves. Showing how its done.
It won't be easy. And I will stuff it up OFTEN. I guess this is where grace comes in. Being gentle with my soul and Timmy's soul. And continuing to love well.
P.S. One encouraging thing this morning was something my daughter said. When I was crying she asked why. I told her I was sad because of the way I yelled at Timmy. She said to me "just say sorry Mum and it will be OK". Steve said she has this modelled to her and so she knows this is what needs to be done when you are unkind to another. I am encouraged to know that what we teach and model does reach into their hearts. Seeing the fruits of our labour is good.
